My Way to Another World
by MissDevon
Summary: She had the life that fullfilled most of her dreams until a deadman arrived on her doorstep endangering it all and making her question everything she ever believed in. Lorna/Gabe, Lucas
1. Chapter 1

I know some of the choice in words might seem a bit odd, but this started as a response to a 10 word challenge contest over at Fanlib and I just decided that I had to make it into more than the word count would allow.

Hope you enjoy.

My Way to Another World

**_Prologue_**

To say she was agitated was an overstatement. Anyone who knew her would be able to tell by taking one look at her face. Slamming pots onto the stove, she tried to restrain her chaotic emotions as she poured a box of__spaghetti into the pot that she had set to boil before going to see why her husband had been calling her. Instead of getting to ask him, she had overheard part of his phone conversation: "_We made __provisions__ for this,"_ the words ran round in her head as she tried to keep from losing control.

She thought she was ready for this.

That she had adapted to what their life together would be like.

That since the moment she had last spoken to her elitist**_,_** know-it-all, younger, adoptive sister that she had left behind the pain of the life they couldn't have.

The pain of not being part of her family's lives and their not being a part of hers and her child's.

She had proven she wasn't fragile. That she wouldn't break at the first sign of trouble, at least that was what she had convinced herself she had convinced the handful of people who knew their secret.  
Doctors. Cops. Agents.  
A couple friends, but most only people who had a job to do.

Even more importantly she had convinced herself that she had convinced him that she was strong enough to stand next to him no matter what. "Apparently not swooning at him wheeling himself into my hospital room after having Lucas wasn't enough," she muttered as she started to make her sauce the way that Paullina Carlino had taught her. "Hell, I'm even cooking. Who the hell would have pictured this?" she muttered, stiffening as she heard the tapping of her husband's cane across the hardwood floor, only as she cocked her head to the side she realized that the rhythm was off. "So in the midst of all this he brings in a guest?" she muttered refusing to look up when he came into the kitchen.

"I was calling you earlier," he said watching her movements with concern.

Not looking up, she continued with her chopping: "I know. I went to your office. You were talking about 'provisions' you had made," she snapped out through a tight jaw.

Cursing under his breathe he leaned his cane against the counter and placed his hands on top to brace his weight, figuring that standing on his own two feet as he squared off with his wife, especially about this, was prudent: "It's not what you think," he started.

"Oh, so you don't plan on going back to Bay City and finishing your last case Captain?"

"Don't start Lorna," he cut out. "Not before you know what you're talking about."

"And what's that, Gabe? Huh? What else have you made provisions for other than us and this lie of a life we've been living?" she asked hatefully, knowing she was hurting him, but unable to not say the words and still mask her fear for his safety and the safety of the life the had built.

"My coming here," a voice said from the doorway: "and helping me finish a case that I started long before you arrived in Bay City. The one that took me away from Fanny, Jenna, and you, Lorna," the man said simply as he stepped into the kitchen, leaving Lorna only to stare at him while she wondered what realm she had slipped into where her father and Gabe were alive and she was having a conversation with them while cooking dinner, only the fussing over the baby monitor let her know that it wasn't some dream. . .


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Lucas watched the feelings of confusion cross over his daughter's face. Standing in front of her, in her kitcheln he braced himself for whatever would be coming at him, and knowing Lorna even as little as he did, he knew it wasn't going to be nice.

At the sound of a child's fussing, he watched as her gaze left his and went to a baby monitor perched on the counter. Within a matter of seconds she turned from it to her husband, poker face on: "I need to get the baby," she informed him as if her whole world hadn't just been upended.

"Lorna," Gabe started as he pushed himself away from the counter and reached for his cane, knowing the tone all too well.

"I. Said. I'll. Get. The. Baby," she managed to spit out as she started to stalk out of the room, keeping her eyes purposely diverted from her father.

"Well, that went better than I anticipated," Lucas remarked with a touch of humor in his voice.

"Oh, you really do, do you?" Gabe asked as he rounded the counter and started to lower the burners on the dinner his wife had been preparing.

"I can finish that," Lucas offered.

"She uses Paulina's recipe. Won't share it and gets annoyed when anyone tries to take over," Gabe informed his father-in-law with barely concealed annoyance, still trying to figure out what had possessed the man to just show up on their doorstep unannounced earlier that day.

"Paulina? Paulina Corey cooks?" Lucas asked surprised.

Gabe shrugged: "Paulina Carlino, now. Her husband, Joe, and his father taught her. She not only cooks, she owns and runs a restaurant. Then again, I don't see how that's anymore surprising than Lorna cooking."

"You have a point there," Lucas remarked as he crossed the room. "This whole domestic routine you two have. . . Its not. . . well, it's definitely not what I expected of her. Jenna sure. This was the type of life she always talked about. But not Lorna."

Turning away from the man, Gabe moved to the refrigerator: "you really have no idea about who your daughter is, do you?" he asked as he reached in and pulled out two beers.

"Not who she is now," Lucas answered truthfully. "But I know who she was back in Bay City. This" he said indicating the room and beyond with a wave of his hand: "was never something she'd have wanted back then."

"This," Gabe corrected the older man as he handed him a beer: "was all she ever really wanted."

"Now you're the one who sounds like he doesn't know her."

"You might be surprised. I mean, from what I heard you didn't exactly take the time to get to know her. Didn't even acknowledge her as your daughter till you were on your deathbed. Not a whole lot of time for you to get to know her now, was there? Especially not when you were taking your adoptive daughter's side in their arguments."

"You weren't there at the time. You don't know what actually happened," Lucas shot back annoyed at being called on the carpet by the younger man.

"Maybe not," Gabe conceded. "But I do know how it affected her. How it still does."

"She seems fine to me."

"Like I said, you don't know your daughter as well as you think you do."

* * *

Lorna half staggered into the nursery, trying to regain some semblance of calm. Even in the emotional state she was in she knew that she had to calm herself down or she would upset her daughter.

Exhaling, she crossed to the nightstand and flipped off the baby monitor, wanting a few moments of privacy before she went back downstairs. Closing her eyes, for a second, she wondered if she was going to wake up from whatever this was.

Until Gabe's call earlier-- hell, a few moments ago-- she would have thought it was a dream.

After all, from the moment her mother had told her tearfully over the phone that her fiancé had been shot down and killed on Center Street, till she had seen him again while she was in the midst of giving birth to their son she had prayed for just that.

"A phone call, that was all you were worth, Lorna. A goddamned phone call to let you know he was dead," she said angrily as she picked up a stuffed animal and threw it across the room, fighting back tears. "Felicia couldn't even let Jenna tell you. Had to do it herself. Even let you know that Joe had been the one to close his eyes. The last with him. . ." she continued coldly. "Then six months of unknowns. . . Jenna and her pleading and know it all comments. 'Listen to the doctors, Lorna.' 'Don't risk your life, Lorna.' 'You'll have a chance for another baby, Lorna,' of course she always left out that it wouldn't be Gabe's. And I know for damned sure little Miss Priss definitely didn't know he'd be rolling into that delivery room.  
Those last months I was alone.  
Because I couldn't count on her.  
Because I couldn't let Felicia know and have her worry. . .Only. . . Son of a bitch! I wonder if he. . . no, he might have done it to me, but not to Felicia," she said swallowing and swiping back tears as she turned to see her daughter watching her with all too knowing eyes, waiting to be picked up. "And look at you, watching me like that. Like you have all the answers. Just like she did, huh?" she asked on a strangled laugh as she picked the baby up. "Lord knows, I don't. Didn't when your Daddy showed up when I was having your big brother. . ." she continued, swallowing over the lump that had developed in her throat as she carried the baby to the changing table and laid her on it and started to change her as she spoke. "Didn't later when I realized that his being there wasn't a figment of my imagination from the drugs they gave me. When I saw him holding Lucas. . . when he offered to leave if I wanted him to. . . when he gave me the chance to leave and go back to Bay City. . . to your Grandma, and all of our friends. . . but I couldn't, now could I?

And now look at the mess we're in? Huh? It's not just Daddy who shouldn't be in the kitchen, but my daddy too. Only, I don't know why he stayed away, and although you and your big brother know your daddy loves you to bits, I don't know if my Daddy does or ever did," Lorna admitted as she lifted her daughter up and stared into her blue eyes: "but I will tell you one thing, Franny, I will never believe John Hudson when he declares someone dead again!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

Slightly calmer, but still emotionally off balance, Lorna walked into the kitchen with her daughter held tightly on her hip, her attention focused on Gabe as she purposely ignored her father's prescence and what it could mean. "What time is LJ supposed to be home?"

Gabe looked down at his beer a bit uneasily as he answered: "Neil and Kels are going to keep him a little lat--"

"Gabriel McNamara, if you value your so called life you won't finish that sentence," she interrupted as she glared at him and inhaled all the while rocking slightly so as to try to keep the tension in the room from being transmitted to her daughter. "I guess I don't have to ask who you were on the phone with earlier than?" she added, annoyance now clear in her voice as she glared at him.

"He was only. . ."

"Doing his job, Lorna," she drew out sarcastically as she crossed the kitchen, a flick of her wrist indicating that her husband had better get out of her way and fast. With surprising agility he did just that. "How many times have I heard that one?"

"Apparently one too many," Gabe shot back as he reached out and snagged his daughter from Lorna who shot him a dirty look. "I either take Franny or you direct me on how to finish making the sauce."

"Nice try," she replied as she threw a towel at him.

"Not nice enough," he muttered under his breathe as he carried his daughter to her highchair and placed her in it, easing himself into the chair next to it.

"I heard that," Lorna told him. "And if Franny wasn't next to you, you'd be wearing the rest of this," she added as she picked up the bottle of beer he had been drinking and took a swig from it herself..

"So, Lorna, you named you daughter after your mother?" Lucas interrupted at what he perceived to be an opening.

Cringing slightly, Gabe looked away. All the work he had done to distract and calm down his wife was now undone with a simple sentence. "No. _We_ didn't," Lorna said sharply, glaring at her father as she slammed the bottle onto the counter. "Her nickname's _Franny _not _Fanny_. Not that its any of your business, we needed a 'F' name when we named her. We decided on Francesca," Lorna told him briskly. "I'm calling Kels and asking her to keep LJ for the night," she continued turning her attention to her husband as quickly as she did the topic of conversation: "I'm sure you won't mind me taking _Franny_ with me. Diner's ruined anyway. You should've left the burners alone," she added as she grabbed the pots and threw them forcefully into the sink, cringing at the splatter that hit her on the arm, but trying not to let on that she was hurt as she stormed out of the room.

Cursing, Gabe pushed to his feet and followed her out of the kitchen and down the hall, his steps slightly unsteady without the use of his cane. "Lorna, calm down," he finally called after her when he realized she wasn't going to stop or slow down for him, even though he knew full well that she was aware that he was following her.

"Don't you dare tell me to--" she started spinning around, her arm held gingerly to her chest as tears started to fall down her cheeks. "I don't want him alone with the baby," she protested as Gabe crossed to her and started to wipe at her tears with his fingers. "I mean it," she reiterated as she pulled back.

"I know," he said softly, reading between the lines as he let his hands fall. Quietly, he took a step back. "Put something on that arm, ok?"

"Ah huh…"

"Lorna. . ." he sighed in exasperation.

"I will. . . I'll even be a good girl and have Kels look at it," she added with a roll of her eyes.

"I worry about you, you know."

"Yeah. Sure," she sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "Just. . . ummm. . . I don't want Franny left alone, ok?"

"OK," Gabe sighed as he reached out and squeezed her hand, taking some comfort in the fact that she didn't pull away from his touch. "We'll explain it all. I promise."

"I thought you promised not to make promises you couldn't keep when we got married," Lorna shot back with a slight smirk. "This sounds like one of those."

"Then all we can," he conceded with a slight smile of his own.

Nodding Lorna exhaled: "can you at least promise me that no more dead people are going to show up on our doorstep?"

"Well, not tonight at least," Gabe admitted with a grimace.

Shaking her head, Lorna looked at the ceiling then back at him: "you know what, I don't even want to know right now. I'm going to-- to take Franny and go to Kelsey and Neil's and have some girl talk while he comes here and you can talk the case and figure out what I can and can't know. Then, hopefully, when I get back, Daddy not so dearest will be gone and I can pretend that tonight didn't happen."

"You know that's not how it's going to play out, don't you?"

"Do you have to be the voice of reason?" she asked on a sigh. "Yeah. I know. What? You thought I got the stubbornness from my mother? Hope LJ takes more after the J and less after the L ok?" she finished patting his chest. "I'm going to get that bag."

"And take care of that arm," he reminded as she turned. Shaking his head he watched her continue down the hall only to turn and see a morose looking Lucas standing a few feet behind him and off to the side. "Enjoy eavesdropping?" Gabe asked, annoyance at the older man clear in his tone, as he made his way back down the hallway.

"Any chance she knew I was there and she said those things on purpose?" Lucas wondered as he followed him..

"Doubtful," Gabe answered truthfully as he moved back to the table. "Frankly she was in too much pain to care."

"Lorna has a tendency to lash out when she's in pain," Lucas remarked, more to himself then to Gabe.

"True, but you're not the one she was really looking to start a fight with," Gabe responded as if he had been addressed as he sat back down and handed his daughter one of her teethers.

"Why an 'f' name? And why Francesca?" Lucas wondered as he came near the table and looked at the baby curiously, trying to find traces of the infant daughter he had spent only moments with in the baby bordering on toddler-hood in front of him.

"I'm Jewish," Gabe replied evenly, "in my family it's the custom to use the first letter of the name of the last person who died in the child's name. It's also the custom not to name after the living. Lorna had already named LJ before. . . anyway, the F was for Frankie. We both considered her family. It's also the reason for the Francesca."

"Then why not just call her Frankie?" Lucas wondered.

Gabe laughed: "ask your daughter. She came up with the nickname, not me."

"And LJ. . ."

"Our son," Gabe responded as he lifted the tray of the highchair and pulled Franny out and onto his lap. "It's short for Lucas Joseph," he explained, taking note of the smile forming on his father-in-law's face he added: "if I were you, I wouldn't bring that up anytime soon. The mood she's in, she just might go and have the paperwork drawn up to have his name changed to Carl."

"Now there's an idea," Lorna said from the doorway. "Although I was thinking more of Lazarus. He wouldn't have to get used to a whole new name-- or nickname—at any rate. And it kinda fits don't you think?" she continued as she crossed the room with a diaper bag over her shoulder.

"I thought you were grabbing a bag for him," Gabe countered as he handed her the baby well aware of the act she was putting on and willing to go along with it for the time being.

"Kels said I left some things over there a visit or two ago. Or it got in the wash from when they were babysitting. By the way, I told her we'd watch Kayla and Harry one night next week."

"Because Kayla's going to be so receptive to us watching her," Gabe said with a good natured roll of his eyes, well aware of the type of watching his pre-teen goddaughter would need.

"She's good with the kids."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said dismissively.

"Don't."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to. And she is your goddaughter."

"Who takes too damned much after a certain cousin and not enough after her mother," he remarked.

"Told you my theory on that," Lorna responded evenly as she crossed the room towards the backdoor.

"Hell, wouldn't surprise me."

"Between the four of us we'll have her reined in before she gets too much of a rap sheet," she responded cheekily.

"God help us."

"Just remember who her father's niece is. From the stories she and her husband told, Kay's a cakewalk."

"Do I even want to know?"

"You should've paid more attention to Lasitter stories," Lorna chided on a laugh.

"Like I ever paid attention to McKinnon when he wasn't in interrogation?" Gabe shot back.

Shaking her head Lorna balanced her daughter and pulled open the door: "tell Neil to call before he's ready to leave so I can pack this one up.  
And Gabe?"

"Yeah?" he asked, mentally going on guard at the change of her tone and body language.

"Make sure you're alone when I get home. Do I make myself clear?"

Shaking his head he rose to his feet and started moving items on the table, refusing to look at her, knowing she already knew the answer wasn't going to change: "get that arm checked out."

"Gabe. I mean it."

Shifting slightly, Gabe looked at her over his shoulder: "Remember what I said about promises I couldn't keep?"

"I hate it when your words come back to haunt me," she muttered as she stalked out.

"Then you shouldn't throw them back in my face," he called after her.

Her only response to which was slamming the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Tensing at the slamming door, Gabe cursed under his breathe.

A few hours ago his life had been as close to perfect as it could be. "Why do I feel like I need a scorecard around you two to keep things straight?" Luke asked as he turned from the closed door to his son-in-law.

Biting back a comment on how if Luke had been around more for Lorna he might not, Gabe turned and started to walk across the kitchen to the sink: "and why would that be?"

"For starters, I thought you said you were Jewish."

"I am."

"Then how do you have a goddaughter who is somehow related to Jake McKinnon?" Luke wondered.

"McNamara sound Jewish to you?" Gabe shot back as he rolled up his sleeves and shot his father-in-law an 'I can't believe you're focusing on this' look as he dumped the sauce that remained in one of the pots down the drain.

"No," Luke admitted.

"Because its not. I was raised Catholic. My father's religion. After he was killed in the line of duty. . . well, things changed. I changed."

"You converted?"

Gabe shrugged as he squirted dish detergent into the sink: "some would argue that was semantics. My mother's Jewish. Traditionally . . . anyway. . . I am a practicing Jew.

As for being a godparent, I have two godchildren, Kay, and Paulina Carlino-- Corey's-- son Dante. As long as one godparent is a practicing Catholic in good standing the other doesn't have to be," he explained.

"And her relationship to Jake?"

Gabe looked at him: "you know, I could understand you questioning my religion as it has some bearing on my life with your daughter and grandchildren, but that is absolutely none of your business," he replied stiffly as he started to rinse out the pots.

"Just trying to make conversation," Luke shrugged as he sat down at the counter.

Turning off the water, Gabe stared at him: "and that's what you choose to talk about? Not Lorna?"

Luke shrugged: "what do you want me to say? She barely looked at me. Frankly, I don't know what to make of. . . if she was ranting and raving I actually think it would be better."

"Take it from someone who knows, it would be," Gabe admitted as he started to load the dishwasher. "She wasn't joking about throwing that bottle at my head. Probably would've thrown a lot more if. . ." he let his voice trail off and shook his head as he rose and dried his hands on a dishtowel: "she definitely has gained some control over her temper. Sometimes though, that control is the scarier choice.

When she bottles things up. . . the results aren't usually pretty or good for any of the people involved."

"And here I thought that all things considered she'd be the one most likely to hear me out. . ."

"Is that why you showed up here? Because you thought that since she already accepted one man back into her life who had returned from the dead she'd do the same with you? That it would be _easy_ to get her to listen to your excuses? That she would just smile and say that it was ok?" Gabe demanded as he threw the dishtowel down in disgust. "Because if all Lorna is for you is a test run on how you think Felicia and everyone else will react you can find the door. I won't put this case-- or any other-- a head of her."

"You already did once," Luke shot back angrily.

"It was a suicide mission," Gabe acknowledged. "Taken on before I met her and when I thought I had nothing left to loose. They had approached me a couple of months after I buried my first wife and son. Told me a close friend had been killed leaving behind a fiancée and her two kids. The other guy they were going to offer the assignment to was dating a woman with a young daughter. . . they were about to get engaged. He had everything to loose and I didn't.  
Then I met Lorna and all that changed.  
I thought it would be different.  
That I could crack the case.  
I was wrong and people got hurt, including your daughter.

Do you think that any of this was easy for us to come by?" he continued indicating the house with a swipe of his hand. "That everyday isn't and wasn't a battle? That she just accepted me coming back into her life and what I was forced to do to her?"

"I never said. . ." Luke went to argue.

"But you implied," Gabe cut him off. "Felicia told her over the phone that I had been killed."

"Fanny wouldn't have. . ."

"She did.  
Jenna was with her and Felicia went after the funeral-- from what I was told.

I wouldn't know.  
The bullet that hit me went through my vest at the top of my spine.  
I was lucky it didn't sever it.  
Luckier still that it only nicked my aorta, if you can call it that.

I spent months in a drug induced coma and when I woke up my supervisors wouldn't tell me what had happened to Lorna. Too many loose ends to tie up.  
What they didn't know was that I had sent her to a friend to be treated for her injuries.  
When Lorna couldn't stand the pressures any more. . . well, my friend took a leave of absence and went with her. Protected her," Gabe looked down at his hands as he clenched and unclenched his fist. "Not knowing how she was. . . where she was. . . it scared me to no end.

But another agent-- he helped me find her.  
I got to her as she was giving birth.  
I don't think she even really knew I was there at first," Gabe continued as he looked his father-in-law in the eyes and continued. "I was scared of losing her. The pregnancy was high risk. . . I didn't even know how much of a chance she had taken till later. . . there were some complications. . . they had me leave. . .Later. . ." he swallowed: "I was still scared. I was afraid of her reaction to my being there would be.  
Of scaring her.  
It being too much too soon.  
I would go into her room at night when she was sleeping and just sit and watch.  
It was late one night. I was in the hospital's nursery visiting LJ before I went to her. . . she walked in. . . The look on her face.  
She almost collapsed.  
The nurse who came in just after her caught her.

Lorna kicked me out.

Two days later I went back. I knew she was being released and it would be my last chance and I took it.

We fought.  
She threw things.  
I offered to leave. Let her act like it hadn't of happened. She decided to take a chance on me instead.

It wasn't easy.  
Still isn't," Gabe admitted as he sagged against the counter. "You can see that in her reaction to his whole mess.

She's afraid that if I ever help solve this I really will get myself killed.  
I can't say I blame her."

"But she forgave you," Luke pointed out.

"No. She hasn't. She and I have worked hard to get to where we are. We were supposed to be married months before LJ was born.  
It was one of the things we were going to plan when I got to her-- actually, I had it already planned.  
Figured that we could have a larger ceremony later, when things calmed down.  
One of my officers I trusted more than. . . I would've had him drive Felicia up. Jenna was already there. My friend, the doctor, would've gone and gotten my mother and we would've been married in front of them at the hospital.

Instead. . . instead we lost almost a year together.

Took me another to convince her to say yes again.

She didn't get to have her family at her wedding.  
Didn't get to have them there for LJ's first anything or for Franny's birth.  
I blame myself for that.

Till this day I can't say for certain why she chose to stay with me. Enter this life with me and walk away from everyone she loved. I thank god she did, because I don't know what I would've done if she hadn't.

Your daughter and our children are my life and I will not let you or anyone else hurt her, do I make myself clear?"

Luke swallowed as he glared at the younger man, slightly impressed with his nerve, but annoyed that he thought he had the right to call him on the carpet for doing many of the same things he had. Of course he hadn't have had a plan in place to get back to his family, but he had also made the decision when things had started to go bad that he would never force them to give up the very things that this man had taken from his daughter. "I listened to you, now you listen to me.

I didn't have anymore of a choice then you did in things.  
I didn't plan on getting shot.  
No one, and I mean _no one_, was prepared for what Sally would do," Luke started angrily. "You think that I like knowing that because of me one daughter was terrorized and stalked and the other had a gun pulled on her and was almost forced to jump off a roof?" he demanded, taking note of the fact that Gabe blanched and looked as if he had been struck. "So, you don't know Lorna that well after all, do you?

She never told you that Sally wanted to kill her to make it look like her boyfriend at the time was the one who killed me?"

"Lorna doesn't talk a whole lot about your death," Gabe replied tensely. "I know she's the one who found. That she tried to stop the blood and couldn't. That the first time she admitted to someone that she was your daughter was so that she could sign the consent forms for you to have surgery.  
I know she still occasionally has nightmares about it.  
Wonders what if she had gotten there sooner.  
Hadn't fallen for Madison's lies. . . "

"My god. . . I had no idea," Luke admitted.

"I'm sure you didn't," he sighed tiredly. "Look, the way I see it is this. You might care about her. Love her even, but you have no right to stand there and think that you can compare our situations or even try to rip into me. Felicia wants. Cass… Hell, even Carl, I'll stand there and take it from them, the same way I took it and will continue to take it, from your daughter. But until she gives you the right, or you win it from her, I am not taking it from someone who only knows about her from some damned reports he gets from agents who have never even met her!"

"You think that's all I know about my daughter?" Luke demanded. "You think that's all I think of her? That I don't regret not making things right with her sooner?  
You don't want me to pass judgment on you, then you sure as hell better stop trying to pass it on me. See I don't care if Lorna gives me permission to or not, I will rip into you for hurting her.  
I will kick your ass if you hurt her again.  
Because I _am_ her _father,"_ Luke said in a deathly calm voice. "I choose to keep a distance because part of me knew on some level that something was going to go wrong.  
Instinct. . . premonition. . . call it whatever the hell you want, but I couldn't let her close. Not with her relationship to Carl.  
Her being involved with me in _any _way would've made her more of a target.

Jenna. . . Jenna was my little girl too. But Jenna. .. Fanny brought her into the equation before things started to go to hell in hand basket, but I _wanted_ to know what happened to _my_ baby girl.  
The one I held in my arms for only a short time.  
Who I promised I would see again.

I gave her a mercury dime and a promise.  
When she was born and on my so called deathbed.

The day they made me die, I put the ring-- the very thing that lead her back to me and my Fanny-- on her finger and I said with all the strength I could muster: 'be safe my darling daughter until I see you again.'

That was _always_ my wish for her.  
Her safety.  
I couldn't ensure it.

Not for her. For Jenna. For Fanny.

You think I don't lie awake at night and question ways I could go back? That I haven't wanted to just walk back into their lives and make all the pain go away?" Luke demanded. "Tell me, something, Gabriel, how do you think you'd feel reading that your daughter was raped and knowing there was absolutely nothing you could do about it?" he continued coldly. "Oh, I made sure the bastard paid once he was in jail. I could still do that. A friend of a friend who owed someone.  
Pauly from Gold Street or someone else.  
Contacts and informants can be nice to have on your side at a time like that," Luke spit out, trying to cover his emotions with seeming coldness and anger. "But that doesn't take away the knowledge that you're not there. That you can't hold her and make it better in _any _way. That you can't tell her that you'll tear the guy who hurt her to pieces. Can't be there when a man who is supposed to be a family friend tears her apart on the stand. Just can't be there to help put the pieces together and help her to feel safe again.

Or Alexander Nikkos. You don't think I would've loved to have been the one to throw him through that skylight for using Fanny the way he did?

The end was always supposed to be in sight.  
Instead we were all betrayed time and time again.  
Jenna had Dean.  
Lorna. . . until you she didn't really have anyone. And you. . . . well, you haven't exactly won me over."

"That's not my job."

"But you expect it to be mine?" Luke challenged.

"I expect that if you are to be more than a house guest for you to win your daughter over," Gabe shot back, "if you'll excuse me I need to get a couple of files," he finished as he started to cross the room.

"I know more than you think I know," Luke called after him. "I know your daughter looks like mine. Not so much now, but the baby I held the day she was born.  
I know Lorna's strong and a survivor.  
That she loves deeply and passionately, she's a lot like Fanny that way," Luke continued as Gabe turned slightly to look at him. "I know that she's done things that she isn't proud of and yet won't apologize for-- at least not outright-- if for no other reason then doing so is a sign of weakness to her.  
I know she'd die to protect the people that she loves if she had to, and I don't _ever _want her to have to make that decision.  
And I know that if she walked away from Fanny to be with you she must really love you and for that reason, and only that reason, I'll put up with you."

Gabe shook his head at the man: "Johansen will be here soon so we can talk about the case. Decide where to go. And you can explain why you suddenly decided to drop in."

"Who said anything about it being a sudden decision?" Luke asked, causing the other man to curse under his breathe as he turned and walked out of the room.

Once alone, Luke visibly deflated as he sunk to the stool wondering how he was going to convince his daughter that what he had done was for her own good and how he had never meant to allow it all to go on so long. "If only I had more time. . ." he muttered to the empty room, knowing that time was the lesser of two enemies he had to outrun at the moment.

Time he'd take his chances with.  
The person or people responsible for destroying his family he needed to put a stop to before it was too late. . .


End file.
